Category: Isaacisms

Isaac:  “Look!  ‘Ostrich Fruit Flavor'”
Richard: “That’s ‘Assorted ‘”
Isaac: “That makes more sense”

Isaac: “What kind of pie is that?”
Richard: “Strawberry-rhubarb I think.”
Isaac: “Brubard?!  I hate brubard!  Why would they ruin a pie with brubarb?!”

The scene: Isaac and friend have stopped for a [second] ‘candy-break’ while trick-or-treating.  Isaac opens a candy bar wrapper, and the candy falls in the grass.

Richard: “Grab it!  That’s still good.”
Isaac [picking up candy]: “Are you sure?” [examines candy]
Richard: “Sure.  Five-second rule!”
Isaac [carefully eyeing candy]: “Well, okay.”
[Isaac bites candy bar in half, chews]
Richard: “I saw a dog pee right here this morning . . . . “
Isaac: [pauses, eats second half of candy bar].

Richard [reading the paper]: “Hey, look a Haunted House we can go to!”
Isaac: “Cool.  Will it be too scary?”
Richard: “Nope.  It’s run for the Girl Scouts and they have it set up for kids under 12 until 7PM.”
Isaac: “Girl Scouts?  It will be all girly, with, like ZOMBIE PONIES!”

[Doorbell rings at 845pm on a dark blustery night.  Richard turns on light and answers.]

Giggling 6 year old girl with runny nose: “Have you seen, um, a black hat with grey mittens?”

Richard [looking around]: “What?  No.  But you shouldn’t be out alone at night looking for some guy wearing a hat.  [Puts on shoes]. How about we walk together till you get home?”

[Walking down sidewalk]

Girl: “Do you know my black hat with grey mittens?”

Richard [pausing]:  “Are you saying ‘black cat with grey mittens’?”

Girl [wiping nose on sleeve]: “You’re silly!”

From Isaac when he was 4

Isaac [trying to take off his sweater, getting stuck on his head]:  “Help, Help!  I can’t smell!”

Isaac: “My new teacher is going to be good.  She’s old; her hair is white!  She must know everything.”   [Sorry Mrs. O., but you know how 8 year olds are].

M [Isaac’s friend]: “Do you know Duluth?”
Isaac: “What?”
M: “Do you know Duluth?”
Isaac: “What’s a Luth?”

Intrepid local explorers find creepy doll head half-buried in a forgotten creek:

Isaac [running out the door]:  “We’re headed to the pit.  I grabbed a bunch of band-aids.”
Richard: “Why?”
Isaac [shouting trails off in the distance]: ‘Because we are going to get hurt!”