Halloween five-second rule

The scene: Isaac and friend have stopped for a [second] ‘candy-break’ while trick-or-treating.  Isaac opens a candy bar wrapper, and the candy falls in the grass.

Richard: “Grab it!  That’s still good.”
Isaac [picking up candy]: “Are you sure?” [examines candy]
Richard: “Sure.  Five-second rule!”
Isaac [carefully eyeing candy]: “Well, okay.”
[Isaac bites candy bar in half, chews]
Richard: “I saw a dog pee right here this morning . . . . “
Isaac: [pauses, eats second half of candy bar].


[Doorbell rings at 845pm on a dark blustery night.  Richard turns on light and answers.]

Giggling 6 year old girl with runny nose: “Have you seen, um, a black hat with grey mittens?”

Richard [looking around]: “What?  No.  But you shouldn’t be out alone at night looking for some guy wearing a hat.  [Puts on shoes]. How about we walk together till you get home?”

[Walking down sidewalk]

Girl: “Do you know my black hat with grey mittens?”

Richard [pausing]:  “Are you saying ‘black cat with grey mittens’?”

Girl [wiping nose on sleeve]: “You’re silly!”