Month: November 2013

Isaac [watching a Black Friday ad on TV]": “Dad, we got to go to that!”
Richard: “Why? It’s just awful shopping.”
Isaac: “It’s people fighting and grabbing.  You get to fight over UNDERWEAR!  It would be awesome!”

An ad on Sirius radio [in full blown ad dramatic voice]:  “Join us for UNCENSORED CANADIAN COMEDY”.

At the Quickie Mart

Some random tired mom to her little kids: “You can have a donut to eat now, or a cookie to eat after day care.”

Little girl: “Why can’t I have a cookie now?”

Mom: “Because cookies are full of sugar and not a healthy breakfast like donuts.”

Richard: “Um, I don’t want to be rude, but. . .  Oh never mind.  Your kids are adorable.  Have a great day.”

At dinner, discussing where food comes from (other than Kansas City BBQ joints)

Richard: “Cows eat the grass, and then we eat the cows.”
Isaac [holding up and waving a piece of sliced brisket]: ‘It’s made of grass?  No wonder it is so floppy [giggles]”

Richard: “Maybe we should roast the Turkey this year.”
Isaac: “We should cook it outside in that bubbling stuff.”
Richard: “In the deep fryer?  We could, but it is a lot of work.”
Isaac: “But, but, you’re the guy who sleeps in tents.  What’s work?”

Isaac [eating Halloween candy]: “You know why no one knows ‘how many licks it takes to get to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop’?  They are all different.  End of story.”

Paige:  “Are you eating chocolate on my couch?”
Isaac [shove entire candy bar in mouth]: “No.”

Richard [helping Isaac with his homework]: “Just erase that and try again.”
Isaac [erasing with vigor]: “Do you know how much my teacher hates sloppy erasing?”
Richard: “With the fiery passion of 1000 suns?”
Isaac [pausing to ponder]: “No, probably not that much."  But a lot.”