Category: Isaacisms

Isaac [choosing original formula over Texas pit sauce]: “Richard, you know how they make pit sauce?  They find a pit with steam coming out of it, and they pour a whole bunch of oil in it, and then add sauce and mix it!  I don’t want to eat that.”

Isaac [heading into the bathroom]:  “I’m just going in here to talk to myself.  There’s something really important I need to know.” 

Isaac [decorating the tree]:  “Jesus’ birthday is on Christmas. He gets double presents. No fair!  I wish I was Jesus.”

Isaac [on the hayride, to Paige, who is singing]:  “Stop!  You’re making the paint peel!”

Isaac: “Can we watch Pizza Factory?”
Richard: “I dunno.  Is it on Netflix?”
Isaac:  “Oh, no.  They made in 1011.”

Isaac [on his missing rubber duckie]: “What if it’s in Canada?!”

Isaac: “We should kill scorpions.”
Richard: “Why?”
Isaac:  “Jesus made those when he was a baby. The stinger part was a mistake.”

Isaac: “I’m hungry. Go to pizza.org”

Isaac: [complaining because his mom won’t let him go outside]
Richard: “Isaac.  Quit being Capt. Fussy.”
Isaac:  “I’m not!  I’m Capt. Argue!”

Isaac: “If your temperature goes to zero, call 911 immediately.  Also if you are throwing up blood.  That’s very dangerous!”