Isaacisms

Isaac [spilling water on himself from a sports bottle with a loose lid]: “Mom!  [accusatorily] Look what happened!  This bottle leaks!”
Paige: “You don’t get to yell at your mother.  How is that my fault?”  [Takes bottle, removes and replaces lid].
Isaac [spilling much more water on himself]: “Look!  Now do I get to yell at my mother?!”

*Paige doesn’t think this is funny, but she is wrong.

Isaac: “You know what word has been creeping me out?  ‘Overbudget.’  It’s just creepy.”

Isaac: “What did one chicken say to the other chicken?
Paige: “I don’t know.  What did the chicken say?”
Isaac: “You qwack me up!”
Paige: “Um, you mean ‘duck’?”
Isaac: “Why would a chicken say ‘duck’?”

Cub Scout Leader: “What would you do if someone you don’t know asks you to get in the car with them?”

Various Scouts: “Run Away!”  “Call 911!”  “Tell Your Mom!”

Isaac: “What if they are bad guys who have disguised themselves as your Mom and Dad and the disguises are really good and you can’t tell they are disguises?”

Richard [hissing from back of the room, after an evening of this]:  “Isaac!  Why do you think I’m sitting here holding my head in my hands?  Why do you think my head hurts?!”

Isaac [after a long drive]: “I demand ice cream!  I-C-E   C-R-I-M-E!”

Isaac: “We had a substitute teacher today and the kids were bad.”
Richard: “Yeah, sometimes the kids misbehave when there is a substitute.”
Isaac: “Sometimes?  EVERYTIME!”

Isaac: “I think I might have the flu.”
Richard: “Well, should you be eating a donut?”
Isaac: “Probably.  The sprinkles will make my puke all different colors.”

Isaac [walking through the living room after a major cleanup operation]: “I knew it!  There’s always one more Lego!”

Isaac [walking into my office playing his Nintendo DS]: “Dad, do you mind standing up while you type so I can sit in that chair?”