Isaacisms

Isaac: “How do you get those permanent stamps?”
Richard: “I don’t know what you mean.”
Isaac:  “You know!  Those stamps that never wash off!”
Richard: “You mean tattoos?”
Isaac: “Yeah, them!”

Isaac: “Jack said a bad word at school today.”
Richard: “That’s not good.”
Isaac:  “He said ‘Fist your Eyes’.  That means punch you in the eyes.”
Richard: “Are you sure he didn’t say ‘Feast your Eyes’?  That’s not bad.”
Isaac [showing the actions]: “Yeah, that’s it.  That’s worse.  That means pull your eyes out and eat them!”
Richard: “I don’t think that’s what it means.”
Isaac: “Yes it does!”

Isaac [yelling from the kitchen]: “Richard, you gotta come see this!”
Richard: “I’m getting dressed so we can go out to dinner.”
Isaac: “This is way more exciting than putting on pants!”

Isaac [to the server at the restaurant]: “I’d like a salad.”
Server: “What kind of dressing would you like?”
Isaac [with quizzical look on his face]: “Salad dressing.”

Special guest Isaacism.

Richard: “When you grow up and there are spaceships, will you go to Mars?”
Max: “No way!  Don’t you know about that first teacher to go to the Moon?  What if the spaceship runs out of gas and falls to the bottom of space and explodes?!?!?!”

Sheriff Taylor: “Ain’t you had enough revenge?”
Ernest T. Bass: “I’ve just whetted my appetite!”
Isaac:  “He wet himself??”

Paige [coughing]:  “Why did I get this cold so much worse than you guys?”
Richard: “Because you don’t take care of yourself when you first get a cold.”
Isaac: “Yeah.  You eat way too much broccoli!”

Isaac:  “How do tornadoes work?”
Richard: “The air spins in a circle really fast.”
Isaac : “That’s what they do. I want to know how they work.”
Richard: “I’m not sure how to explain that to you right now.”
Isaac:  “God could.  He’s good with words. He knows almost all of them.”

Isaac: “If you eat too much, it gets stacked up in your neck and drinking water makes it go down.”
Richard:  “I think the problem is you’re not chewing you food enough before you swallow.”
Isaac [indignant]: “I am too!  Watch!”
Isaac [puts spaghetti in mouth, chews frenetically and sticks out tongue] “See!”

Isaac [carrying his pants]:  “I was in the bathroom talking quietly to myself and I said ‘it would sure be nice to have very clean pants tomorrow.’  Then I thought that was a really good idea, so I’m gonna put these in the laundry.”