Category: Twitter

Isaac [setting free a frog he caught]: “I wish I had a robot frog. Then it would live forever.”

Isaac [frustrated]: “Darn-it Sauce!”

Isaac: “I’ve never seen bank robbers. They wear striped shirts and then they make them wear the same shirt in prison.”

Isaac [alternately holding toy cell phone to his ear and punching buttons]: “Stupid messages!”

Isaac: “Fishing must have been hard for the first kids, ’cause they didn’t have a mom or dad to teach them.”

Isaac [pressing the car window button with his heel]: “Hey, I can open the window with my foot’s elbow!”

Isaac: “I have an invisible motorcycle!” Richard: “How do you know you aren’t riding it backwards?” Isaac: “I can make it un-invisible!”

Isaac: “Mom, can I take my guns to town?”

Isaac [imagining]: “Watch out for the lobsters.” Richard: “Will they eat us?” Isaac: “They can’t. They don’t have forks!.”

Isaac [at a fancy restaurant]: “No wonder the food took so long! They put a bunch of tiny carrot pieces all over the edge of my plate!”