Category: Twitter

Isaac [eating messily]: “Oohhh! I broke my ham!” (Yes, he was eating yogurt and ham.)

Isaac: “Chemistry? That’s a weird word!” Also, thanks Yoplait for color-changing tongue tatoos for kids. Now yogurt is even messier!

Richard: “Why are you being so argumentative!?”. Isaac: “I’m not!” R: “Are too!” I: “Am not!” R: “Duck Season! I: “That’s not funny!”

Isaac: “If you can’t see, your mom can drive you up to see Jesus in a spaceship and he will fix your eyes for free.”

Richard [to Isaac, who is exiting home wearing a cape and wielding a lightsaber]: “What are you doing?” Isaac: “I have an important meeting”

Isaac [at the lake]: “I’ll bring my kids here when I grow up.” Richard: “Can I bring your kids here?” Isaac: “If you’re still alive you can”

Richard: “What’s in the jar?”. Isaac: “Either a chrysalis or poop. I’m not sure which.”

Isaac [catching a frog]: “You know, that’s why Jesus keeps making bugs. So if a frog is a pet there is always something to feed him.”

Isaac [enjoying a free vanilla soft-serve cone]: “I must be dreaming. No ice cream could be this good!”

Isaac [after the first verse of Frere Jacques]: “Now let’s do it in plain language!”